Day 5 on Roaccutane

ok so I missed the first few days to start here. I was lying in bed last night when I decided to do this progress blog.

I took the 4th tablet last night, I'm only on a small dose to start with - 20mg once a day. After 2 weeks, that goes up to twice a day. I then visit the derm in 2 months for a blood test and follow up.

I'm a little (ok a lot) paranoid about the side effects. I think I can handle the chapped lips, dried eyes are more of an annoying prospect, and dried skin will be unpleasant. I'm already self conscious, the last thing I want is to be MORE self conscious. But I'm trying to focus on the bigger picture.

My fiance thinks it sounds like I'm on some kind of Chemo pill. I agree. It sounds scary.

Oh and did I mentioned I'm a hypochondriac? And I've just stopped taking my anti-anxiety medication?

Nothing happened with the first tablet. At least nothing noticeable. And trust me, I was very focused.

Second night was the same. Third the same.

Last night was the 4th tablet. My skin felt a little tight in the shower, so I've been making sure to moisturise - something I don't usually do often enough. i'm also slathering on the lip balm. My lips are quite dry a lot anyway though, so i'm wondering how much different it will be. i also tend to chew my bottom lip a lot. My eyes feel dry today, but that's kind of normal for me sometimes too, so so far it's hard to tell if the side effects are kicking in or not.

I think the main one I'm worried about is losing my hair. oh and the flare up they tell you to expect at the beginning. And my face being red and peeling. and no waxing. I can just picture me walking down the aisle now, bald spots, dark regrowth, peeling face and huge pimples everywhere, eyebrows growing out of control or over plucked....

But I'm trying to be positive. Fingers crossed being back on the pill combats any flare ups - being that the pill alone clears my skin, hopefully the combination of the 2 will be a super cure.....

So tonight will be tablet no. 5. haven't really expected any side effects so soon, but you never know. I'm still hoping I'm just one of the lucky ones that it doesn't effect too badly.

Medication: the root of all evil - but oh how we love it!

So far I haven't been a particularly good blogger. I decided I was too much of a private person to be publishing my life on the web. However, since then I have had another change of heart (this happens often).

The main reason I have decided to resurrect the blog is that I actually have something I wish to document - my experience on the drug Roaccutane (or Accutane). I've read a few other online diary's of people on the drug which I found to be fairly helpful, so I decided that I'd give it a shot as well. I'd also like the chance to follow my own progress.

I guess the best place to start would be a little background on myself. I was one of the unlucky teenagers who broke out - bad - around the 14 year mark. I also had braces and hadn't discovered the art of highlighted hair yet. So I was the epitome of the awkward teenager. A visit to the dermatologist left me with 2 options, the pill or roaccutane. We were given the roaccutane info pack to take home and read through, at the end of which I decided (well my mum decided) that the side effects were too great, and that we'd try the pill instead. (In hindsight that was a brilliant idea as it also saved me the inevitable and embarassing talk with my parents about birth control in the future). I was also a very disturbed, grunge teenager who idolised Kurt Cobain - so perhaps a drug that had possible links to depression wouldn't of been so good for me anyway.

The pill worked perfectly. My skin cleared up within months and stayed that way the whole time. The problems began again when i accidentally went almost a week without my little miracle tablet. I decided I may as well wait until I got my next 'P' before starting again. However, the month passed, and no signs of the dreaded time of the month rearing its ugly head. So i kept waiting - at which time I noticed my skin breaking out again. Long story short, I ended up going 3 months without the 'P' before I decided to jump back on the pill, as by this time not only my face was covered, but I also developed the lovely 'Bacne' - bumps covering my chest and upper back. Lucky for me this was the middle of winter - and once again it cleared perfectly by summer time.

This accidental experiment did raise some questions though - why was my skin still breaking out off the pill? And why didn't I get my 'P'?

I had a few options. Another thing I probably need to mention is that I was diagnosed with a tumour on my Pituatary Gland about 5 years ago. This messes with my hormones. So I hoped that maybe once that was under control, the acne would also be under control. It also would affect my 'P'.

So I waited until the following winter, before my Endocronologist (hormone specialist) recommended going off the pill again in an effort to figure out where the problem is. Again, long story short, nothing hormonal about it, I'm just one of those unlucky people who have acne.

Which sucks for 2 reason (well it sucks for lots of reasons, but these are the main 2).
1. I'm getting married this year - and obviously don't want bad skin for that.
2. I wanted to sprout some offspring within the next 12 months.

My acne has literally ruined everything. So with my referal in hand, I visited the dermatologist, once again hoping for a miracle solution. There was none to be had. Unfortunately any medication they could put me on that was still safe for falling pregnant, also reacted with the medication I take that controls my tumour. So i had only one option - the dreaded Roaccutane again. 14 years later and the prospect of that drug still scares me. It also meant my baby making plans had to be put back a minimum of 6-9 months. Which, when coupled with the fact my 'P's needed time to regulate themselves, I'm looking at a long stretch of possibly 12 months before I can even consider falling pregnant. Plus the 9 months cooking the child. Equals no babies before I turn 30. Devestated.

But I've put all that behind me, bitten the bullet, and started taking Roaccutane. Basically I decided I wanted to be rid of the acne once and for all, and apparently this is my best and only chance. Fingers crossed all those scary side effects you read about on the net don't pay me a visit....

“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.” - Calvin & Hobbes

This year is turning out to be one of those years. 

Actually, I've probably been saying that since 2007. That's about when this never ending string of catastrophic events probably started. I mean, I know things could be worse. No matter how many curve balls life has decided to throw at me, there's always going to be some poor bugger out there who has it worse off. 

But I still think I'm allowed to be a little selfish sometimes and wallow in a little self pity now and again. That's fair isn't it?

So I suppose you're wondering what could of happened to prompt me into joining the world of blog. Nothing particularly exciting - I'm just sitting in my new lounge/games room, not quite ready for the sandman to visit, and figured a problem shared is a problem halved. 

That, and the fact that my new house is making strange noises. I sure hope that shuffling noise coming from behind me is my furry little best friend (aka Broccoli) and not some slipper wearing axe murderer. 

I guess the key subject of this particular post would be the new house. It's taken our beloved financial institution over 3 months to decide we aren't going to bet the money on the pokies (as much as my fiance would love to) and we have now officially joined the mortgage market. 

The new place is definitely a step up for us. We've spent the last 6 years of our lives in a little dwelling our friends have affectionately called the shit hole. (Of course the name was only revealed once we had moved out).

To be continued... (my laptop battery is flashing manically at me - possibly collaborating with my drooping eyelids in a bid to send me to bed)